The type and degree of access to the vulva of a femsub is a matter for pre-Scene negotiation between her and her Dom/me. BDSM does not always involve sexual intercourse and it may not involve direct stimulation of any part of the vulva. It may or may not even involve the femsub being completely naked. Some wannabe Doms (and, much more rarely, Dommes) think, or even are wannabes because they believe, that BDSM is an easy way to find a woman who will do and accept whatever they want sexually. Such wannabes are usually very quickly educated into the realities of the Scene and are not often seen much thereafter. Of course, there are some serious but inexperienced Dom/mes who just do not know the culture and etiquet of BDSM and may think that access to any part of a sub's body is a part of the deal. That is definitely NOT the case and particularly so with this most intimate area. The sub may renegotiate access as the relationship develops and trust grows. However frustrating it may be, new Dom/mes should always remember that progressing before that re-negotiation not only destroys trust, their reputation and much chance of them getting to play with another sub, it could also be followed by a charge of indecent assault, rape or attempted rape! The vulva is undoubtedly the most erotic, sensual, sensitive and satisfying area of BDSM play, for both the femsub and the Dom/me but access is never automatic.
If permission for free and open access is granted then we are into a world of fun that makes New York seem like Albert Square! The vulva has several distinct parts, each of which lends itself to differing forms of play. Rather than discussing the forms of play generally, in this section lets look at each part of the vulva and the best ways of stimulating it.